Friend Continue to Smoke Around Me

United States

May 7, 2009 2:25pm CST

Many of my online friends are smokers and I have no problem with their habits. But only cause I don't have to hang around and be exposed to the smoke. If they were here in person, I'd have a big problem. Cigarette smoke gives me migraines and second hand smoke has been linked to numerous cancers and health issues including pneumonia in newborns and childhood asthma. There's nothing healthy about smoking. So I'm not too eager to hang out with friends who smoke. Though I don't mind long distance friendships with smokers. No harm there. If you're a non-smoker will you have friends who smoke?

55 responses

• United States

7 May 09

I'm a non-smoker and I've had friends who smoke. In one way I do mind because I don't want to get anything that second-hand smoke can bring along with it. But fortunately most of the people I hang around don't smoke. So I guess I don't really have to worry about it. I don't think people should smoke around people who don't though. At least go back enough where anyone who doesn't want to breathe the smoke doesn't have to.

• China

8 May 09

Maybe we all have friends both non-somkers and somkers. If you are friends, I think the friends you hang around don't somke near you, except for you are also a somker. I hope the somkers don't somke in the public place.

• United States

7 May 09

I don't choose my friends based on their smoking habits, that would be like saying I don't want to hang out with you because you pick your nose! Sure it's not healthy, but you could just ask them not to smoke near you.. not a big deal! I no longer smoke, but this weekend we'll be staying with a friend who does smoke. She already knows that while we're there, she'll need to smoke outside. Even if we hadn't quit, she'd still need to smoke outside because our kids are visiting as well. But she's my best friend in the world, so telling her I don't want to be her friend anymore just because she smokes and I don't would be rather ridiculous!

• United States

8 May 09

What I'm saying is not a personal judgment or attack against people who smoke. Other members have misinterpreted my words to be a discriminatory statement as if I'm purposely discriminating against smokers. I'm not talking about the morality of smoking; but the health issues involved. I don't want to be in the presence of smoke. Even the lingering odor gives me migraines. There are so many harmful chemicals in the smoke. I don't see anything healthy about it. If your friend doesn't smoke around you, then that's a good thing. Not all smokers show such courtesy to their friends. But, it's still my own personal choice to make about whom I hang around. And if those people want to smoke, they don't need to be near me.

• Philippines

16 May 09

I have friends who do smoke but, whenever I'm with them, they would blow their smoke elsewhere and not directly at those who smoke or those who don't smoke. Sometimes, when the wind influences where their exhaled smoke blows, they would move to a more suitable place so that we who don't smoke wouldn't be bothered. We know that smoking is bad but, that's just some of the ways they try to relieve stress and since nicotine is very addictive, it might be hard for them to just suddenly stop. (-_-")

• Philippines

19 May 09

Darkwing Yes, they are also considerate to those that they do know, what more for those whom they don't know at all? I think restaurants have those exhaust systems at their smoking areas so that even if a lot of patrons in the restaurants do smoke, their smoke wouldn't spread as much as to the non-smokers area. Have a nice day to you too, thanks~! (^_^ )

• Boston, Massachusetts

7 May 09

I think that using smoking as a filter (no pun intended) for friendship is going to cause you to miss out on a lot of worthwhile people. It's like judging friends by their looks or their fashion sense. What you really want in a friend is compassion, loyalty and good judgment. Whether online or off, I want friends who have those qualities.

• United States

7 May 09

You really think so? Hmm.

• Ireland

7 May 09

Well I guess that would be an issue in a place where the smoking ban hastn't come arount to. I dont mind myself thou am not a smoker but after a few pints i dont mind a smoke myself

• Philippines

7 May 09

yes. i will not be bothered by it. if i have my child with me and a friend will smoke, then i will tell that person to please not to smoke or smoke somewhere else. non-smokers should help smokers to quit, and if they are not going to befriend them, then how can they help them?

• United States

8 May 09

I would not abandon a friend for smoking, but I would provide loving encouragement for her and insist that she not smoke around me. I would not eat donuts or cake in her presence if she were on a diet. It's the least a friend could do. Friends support each other. Thanks for your kind comments.

• Philippines

8 May 09

• United States

8 May 09

I find that being around second hand smoke, or perfume, or worse yet, the two combined, makes me really ill. I still like the people but do not handle the situations well at all.

• United States

8 May 09

Same here. Can't fault the people but the smoking has to go.

• United States

8 May 09

I am a smoker and I am happy to have friends that don't smoke but ONLY if they don't nag me about being a smoker!!!

• United States

8 May 09

They only nag cause they care. When they stop nagging, you should worry.

• Guangzhou, China

8 May 09

• United States

8 May 09

And, you are a very good friend for caring so much about others.

• United States

7 May 09

I am a smoker and hope to be a nonsmoker some day but with my nerves the way they are, it's a wonder the thought comes to mind at all but it does. Now as a smoker, I have high respect for nonsmokers. I will not smoke inside of their home no matter what. To me, it's just not right. I will sit in a smoking section in a restaurant and I'll smoke in my own home with a window opened if I have a nonsmoker friend visiting or ask that they go outside with me to visit and figure out the direction of the wind and that's where I'll sit to keep the smoke away from you. Now if that's not good enough to be one's friend then I'm sorry because I can do only so much to protect them. I am who I am so accept me or delete me.

• United States

7 May 09

Delete you? You mean like on Mylot. Heaven forbid! I'd never do that. And, if I did have a friend (in my off line life) who smoked, I wouldn't delete them either, but would have to avoid them while they smoked. Not simply cause they smoked, but during the act of smoking. As I get severe migraines from the fumes. It's a medical thing. People without migraines can't understand the unbearable excruiciating pain of migraines; as if your brain is coming out of your head. That is all I meant. I love my friends. I see that you are doing the best you can. And that is more than fair. Thanks for your comments.

• United States

7 May 09

My friends are precious to me! Thanks for your comments. And best of luck with your surgery tomorrow. I'm sure you'll be fine.

• United States

7 May 09

• United States

7 May 09

I am an ex smoker. I am 2 years quit in July. Almost all my friends smoke. I dont like it but I do like them. If it starts to bother me I let them know and they will go outside or further away from me while smoking.

• United States

7 May 09

It's good that your friends love you enough to offer that courtesy. It's good that you love yourself enough to ask for that courtesy. Congrats on quitting smoking.

• United States

8 May 09

This is a hard one for me to answer because I am a former smoker. I did quit five years ago though. I don't like being around smokers now though. It's nothing against smokers, it's just that I chose to quit and don't really like being around it now. I didn't notice until I quit how badly the smell gets into your clothes and hair and stale smoke is a yucky smell. If I have a friend who smokes, I would ask them not to smoke around me.

• United States

7 May 09

I'm a non smoker but I dont have a problem being friends with a person who smokes as long as they respect the fact that I dont smoke, and they make a little effort not to blow to much smoke around me, but other then that its not a problem for me, my parents are smokers so I guess I'm kind of use to being around smokers, I just never had an intrest in smoking becuse I know how unhealthy it is.

• United States

7 May 09

My grannies smoked and I loved them all very much. But it was tough being in the same room as the smoking coming from a non-smoking environment at home.

• United States

7 May 09

I'm a non-smoker and some of my friends smoke. It doesn't bother me one bit. There might be something that I do that they may not like, however that isn't going to stop me from making friends with people.

• United States

7 May 09

My avoidance of smoke stems from medical not personal reasons but I completely agree with you otherwise. Thanks for your comments.

• Singapore

9 May 09

Why not? As friends, I normally accept my friends as they are. I may suggest that they stop smoking more for their health reasons and partly also because I am allergic to second hand smoke. Of course, I will not demand that he not smoke or we are no longer friends. Neither will I choose not to be a friend just because he smokes.

•

11 May 09

I don't smoke, but many of my friends do. If they blew smoke in my face or smoked in my home I'd have a problem with that, but the fact that they smoke in their own space doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's their lives!

• United States

10 May 09

Im a non smoker who has smoking friends. I dont have a problem with them smoking as long as they take it outside where it belongs,

• India

14 May 09

When you make friends, there is no such criteria as in if he smokes then ....... I dont otherwise one could just lose out on good friends. Also if you are good friends then they will not smoke when they are around you, but you have to make it clear to them. Make it clear that you have a problem with the smoke, not them but the smoke troubles you. They will not smoke in front of you if all of you are good friends.

• United States

7 May 09

I know many people who smoke. I don't hang around them when they are smoking. The real danger comes from if you are a smoker who is trying to quit smoking. In that case, you have to change friends. As long as you hang out with your smoking friends, you'll be in constant temptation to relapse.

• United States

8 May 09

I've known many people that smoked and when they quit they didn't change friends. If you are going to quit you have to have will power. Smoking is an addiction and you have to be prepared for the cravings you'll get from the process of quitting. Changing all of your friends does not help with this and most smokers out there are courteous to the ones around them that don't smoke or are trying to quit smoking. You do need good support around you. My dad smoked for 30 years and he went on a 6 month deployment on the ship and quit smoking out there with all of his friends around him that continued to smoke. He kept all his smoking and non smoking friends and never let their choice sway his decision in making or not making a friend.

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Source: https://www.mylot.com/post/2002075/if-you-are-a-non-smoker-should-you-have-friends-who-smoke

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